Month: July 2017

Rewind, March 2012: Pennsylvania | Grandfather’s Wake

Considering I’ve lost so many memories with my previous journal going to shit, I’ve decided I’ll do some throwback updates of older photoshoots, book reviews, travels, etc. I actually had this one planned to post in my old journal before it went down.

This was back in March of 2012, I went back home to Pennsylvania to visit family while attending my grandfather’s funeral. This is my mother’s father. I wasn’t terribly close to my grandfather but I do remember the times I would visit, he’d help me set up little traps in his backyard to capture chipmunks. I’d feed them walnuts and then let them go afterward, just catching them was the challenge. Most of the time I spent there was with my cousins playing wiffle ball, catching lightening bugs, or generally getting up to no good. My grandmother would always be cooking some Hungarian dish or another; she was always cooking!

My grandfather worked the mines when he was younger and as a result contracted coal workers’ pneumoconiosis, better known as black lung which would eventually kill him. My grandmother came over to America during the war; her parents were killed, she fled, got on a boat and never saw the rest of her siblings again. It was around this time my grandfather met her. She never liked talking about her past, so it’s always been a mystery knowing exactly where she was from. She spoke eight languages and never lost her deep European accent. She always made me giggle when she said “little”, she’d always pronounce it “Lit-Lee”. She died from Merkle cell carcinoma, a very rare skin cancer associated with immunosuppression and UV exposure. She was beautiful, they both were.

Continue reading “Rewind, March 2012: Pennsylvania | Grandfather’s Wake”

A Mother’s Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy

On April 20, 1999, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold walked into Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado. Over the course of minutes, they would kill twelve students and a teacher and wound twenty-four others before taking their own lives.

For the last sixteen years, Sue Klebold, Dylan’s mother, has lived with the indescribable grief and shame of that day. How could her child, the promising young man she had loved and raised, be responsible for such horror? And how, as his mother, had she not known something was wrong? Were there subtle signs she had missed? What, if anything, could she have done differently?

These are questions that Klebold has grappled with every day since the Columbine tragedy. In A Mother’s Reckoning, she chronicles with unflinching honesty her journey as a mother trying to come to terms with the incomprehensible. In the hope that the insights and understanding she has gained may help other families recognize when a child is in distress, she tells her story in full, drawing upon her personal journals, the videos and writings that Dylan left behind, and on countless interviews with mental health experts.

Filled with hard-won wisdom and compassion, A Mother’s Reckoning is a powerful and haunting book that sheds light on one of the most pressing issues of our time.

Continue reading “A Mother’s Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy”

Black Widow – Conjuration

Could it be the voice I heard
Borne on the wind to reach my ears
Came from the lips I learned so well
In other lives, I swear that I will
Kill my fear, perform the rites
And spurred on by my need
To have the one I loved before
I’ll even steel my heart to raise the devil himself

In this sacred place I stand
Unused for countless years
To make my dream come true I call
The lady Astaroth, come join me here

The time has come, the power is raised
The wind brings voices to my ears
“Believe, have faith” the voices say
“Have confidence, the time is almost right”

Can it be the voice I heard
Borne on the wind to reach my ears
Came from the lips I learned so well
In other lives, I swear that I will
Kill my fear, perform the rites
And spurred on by my need
To have the one I loved before
I’ll even steel my heart to raise the devil himself

In this sacred place I stand
Unused for countless years
To make my dream come true I call
The lady Astaroth, come join me here

The time has come, the power is raised
The wind brings voices to my ears
“Believe, have faith” the voices say
“Have confidence, the time is almost right”

Largo | Orlando

There hasn’t been too much going on these past few weeks. Or rather, there has been, it’s just been more or less the same thing (not complaining!)

Last weekend, Funeral System, Grave Ascension, and Vacuous Depths played out in Largo at Sneaky’s Bar. I snapped a few photos, but it wasn’t the best venue as far as aesthetics and lighting goes. I’ve been feeling socially exhausted, I spent most of the night relaxing outside by myself. Randomly, there was a “zazz” band playing, it was unique, kind of chaotic and lent a surreal feel to the night. It was pleasant.

This past Friday, I spent the night with Stephen, Eli, Jenn, Chloe and Adam. We hit up the arcade then stopped by Legion on the way home. Stephen headed to Jacksonville Saturday afternoon as Shot was playing a show that night, so I had to cut my weekend short with him.

Sunday, Danielle invited me and Chloe up to Orlando for a cook out.

I haven’t been feeling well, so I ended up calling out of work sick yesterday, for the first time since September of last year. I slept for about 14 hours, I guess I had a fever because when I woke it had broken and I felt like I had a pillow stuffed inside my head and an elephant on my chest.

I spent the evening with Stephen and Eli at a local strip club; then we cooked out and cuddled up to Night of the Living Dead. When he puts his arms around me and I bury my face in those curls, I feel furthest from the grave and it quiets the constant commotion inside my head. I would never dare tell him how much that comforts me.

Funeral System is playing in South Florida this coming weekend. Stephen invited me to go, but I’m just not in the mood to be around that many people for that extended amount of time. I could probably use a quiet, detoxing weekend in.

Continue reading “Largo | Orlando”

Lords of Chaos: The Bloody Rise of the Satanic Metal Underground

Just before the turn of the millennium, nearly 100 churches have been torched and desecrated by adherents of Black Metal, the most extreme form of underground music on the planet.

In an escalating unholy war, Black Metal bands and their obsessive fans have left a grim legacy of suicide, murder, and terrorism spreading from Norway to Germany, Russia, America, and beyond…

 

Continue reading “Lords of Chaos: The Bloody Rise of the Satanic Metal Underground”

Tormentor – Elisabeth Bathory

… This is a story about Elizabeth Bathory
Her blood is ourselves
Clean Hungarian blood…

Dark castle, occult carol sounds
Women are crying, but they are satisfied
Elizabeth didn’t sleep tonight
She exorcised her youth by her own eyes

Dead girls are chaperoning her
On her deadly magic-circle’s lines
She pricks needles under the ladies’ nails
Their frosty bodies are buried alive

Oh how I love to feel your breath
I’d love to be the lover of death
Desires come true, evil prayers are heard
By Elizabeth Bathory – the countess of my fire!

You are also sacrifice
You will give your blood
Because she must
Have a bath…

“Welcome my youth
Alike before…
More enormous than ever!
By the blood, by the blood everything are cleaned…
Oh yes I’ve got the magic… Yes I feel I fly
I fly towards the Moon!”

Countess it is your night
You are haunted by your wild desires
Possessed by bestial lust
You are the goddess of the love

She’s got insatiable mind
She needs virgins blood anymore
Her flames never die away
She is surrounded with never-fading glory

Fourth of July 2017

This is my first -official- personal post since having to uproot and move from LiveJournal. I feel (kind of) like I’m betraying LiveJournal, as that has been my “home” for my photo journaling, on and off, since 1999. However, I feel like I became somewhat stagnant with sticking to the familiar and fell into the habit of using archaic tools. Jon helped hook me up with my old domain and a place to host; I’m thankful with him for that! This is my first attempt at building a blog, so this is the bare bones of trying to tweek something into a decent place to post my photography, book reviews, etc. I’ve struggled a little bit with the available themes, but I think I managed to find something workable.

Anyhow…

Drunken pictures from (mostly) the 4th of July weekend and beyond!

Continue reading “Fourth of July 2017”